Sunday, June 17, 2012

Miley Cyrus To Make ‘Very Adult, Sexy, And Believable’ Record Because She Hates Us All

miley cyrus la 5 1 12 Miley Cyrus To Make Very Adult, Sexy, And Believable Record Because She Hates Us All

Because the first words that enter into any clear-thinking person’s mind upon ruminating upon the existence of Miley Cyrus is “very adult and sexy and believable,” that’s exactly how her next studio album is being described by a Cyrus “insider” (i.e.: publicist).  The 19 year old brayer singer is set to release the album soon, and promises it will be out before her upcoming wedding.  Details below.

Despite her upcoming wedding to Expendables 2 and Hunger Games star Liam Hemsworth (a.k.a., the one who isn’t Thor), Cyrus’ “insider” states that the album will “one hundred percent” come out before the singer and actor tie the knot, or fire off a bunch a shotguns, or fashion crude mullets from surrounding materials at the church (not really sure about the Cyrus family traditions).

The 19 year old star, according to the same insider, is “having fun making music for the first time in her career,” which is, whew, a relief, because we all know what a long and arduous career the millionaire 19 year old has suffered through thus far.

The super-knowledgeable source who was in no way hired to be a publicist and paid to “leak” all of this information to E! went on to say that “we are watching a young girl turn into a young woman,” which isn’t kind of creepy at all.  Also leaked was the fact that Cyrus is currently working with producers such as Pharrell Williams, and Hit-Boy, who previously produced for Kanye West, Jay-Z, and Eminem.  Which, apparently, fits the aesthetic of what the insider calls “Miley 2.0.”

What do you think of the Miley Cyrus news?

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